Oh wow. I don’t even know where to start but let me just say this before everything else: 2019 is my plot twist. It went extremes to extremes. If 2018 was all the good stuff like making me finish my SEA bucket list (this is a pretty big deal to me), loving my job but had to leave it, invested in something that both me and my boyfriend will benefit in the future, and many other things, 2019 started out like I want it to end already. I’ve been meaning to write this for a while now so here it is. This is just my experience and I don’t blame anyone or condemn anyone or any entity or any stuff, just to be clear.

We have 2 days a week work from home but it wasn’t strictly imposed so almost everyone is working from home maybe 3 times a week which for me, there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just that after some time, it felt really disheartening to see that no one’s in the office when you come to work. Even on days when we have team meetings, some people don’t come to the office anymore. Aside from the salary increase I needed, my mentor also resigned so it was already a big red flag for me.

Fast forward to the time I was applying for another job, I got this offer from another multinational company which I won’t disclose the name. Yes, the salary was very attractive and I was very desperate to change jobs so I accepted it. This was December 2018. In my first week, it was very clear to me that I won’t like what I am doing and that I needed to rethink my next moves. I am partly to blame for accepting the job. I was so desperate I didn’t weigh the pros and cons very well.

I immediately talked to my manager and told him that I wanted to do Automation, I want to switch to another role, etc. etc. etc. I gave it 3 months before I finally looked for another job. I tried changing perspectives but the only thing that keeps me going in this job is my workmates. Aside from that? Na-ah. Not to mention the schedule which was morning and I, myself, was never a morning person. I learned to love coffee so much this year. LOL! It’s depressing looking for jobs when no one was accepting you and you just want to get out desperately. Also, April this year, I am trying to fix my documents in order to obtain an Australian working visa which we all know is not that easy. I don’t think I am skilled enough. I was reviewing for English exams when one day, I was told there was a Planit roadshow here in Manila and the rest, as we all know, is my greatest plot twist.

The first 5 months of this year left me dragging myself to work. Praying and yep, crying some nights because I don’t know what to do with my career. All I wanted was to learn and be good at what I am doing, build my skills and all that. And at my role at that time, I wasn’t learning anything. I swear. I tried learning on my own, online training, but we all know that experience is the best teacher. I was asking God if he forgot me already. But girl, God never forgets. God prepares us so that when the opportunity is there, we are ready. I am a firm believer that if you want it, go get it and that if we want something so bad, we can get it if we just work hard enough for it. And somehow, it worked for me through the years. 

In the month of June, God was making sure I know He’s still there for me. I got accepted at First circle (which is my other plot twist and I couldn’t stress enough how happy I am at First Circle. Of course every company has its ups and downs but so far, everything is so good!), I got an offer at Planit! I even won a Bingo grand prize from one of Peter’s supplier! haha! All in one freaking month!!!

Fast forward to September, my mother got hospitalized this year and my sister’s father died. I was so stressful during this time because it happened at almost the same time. I was ranting almost every day to Peter on how hard it will be and that I cannot full-on throw my anger because if it’s hard for me, how much more for my mother and my sister? I wasn’t really the “Ate” or the “panganay” type. My sister is more like the panganay and I am very much aware of that. I wasn’t all that supportive too and I didn’t know how I could be of help to them. We were shaken financially when my mother was hospitalized but I’m just glad that we survived that. September-October did shake me to my core. Everything was just stressful that I just want to work and not think of anything else. 

I am still in the Philippines and I don’t have a specific date yet on when I will come to AU but I just couldn’t believe this year. It stretched me in many ways. It is very sad that I know I’ll be leaving First Circle anytime next year. I am still learning from the most skilled people that I almost didn’t want to leave. I am not sure if I am ready to live on my own but I know God will not give me the opportunity to work in AU if I am not ready yet. 

My recent trip to Japan is very timely too because it reminded me once again why I wanted to work outside the Philippines. I also saw how my tita lived there and it somehow gave me a new perspective on things. Now, I can say I am fully ready. Of course, I know it will be hard knowing I’ll be far away from my loved ones but this is a new learning experience for me and I’ll get to know myself better.

And here we are! The year is almost ending and everything is good. There were A LOT of hardships but there are a lot of good memories too. So to summarize: 

I will soooo remember you 2019. This year wasn’t easy going like 2018 but you sure did opened a lot of opportunities for me. I will be forever thankful for that.

At the start of the year, I wished for this year to be over already. But who would’ve thought this year will end in full blast? That I survived and that I am in my happy self again? That I am entering 2020 with a hopeful heart that may 2020 be good to as well. 

I couldn’t thank God enough for the blessings. God really showed me that I should trust Him and His plans because the timing will always be perfect. It just makes me emotional looking back at the memories of this year. I cannot complain because I am sooo freaking blessed. Thank you 2019!!! And hello there 2020! I am so ready for you. <3